I’ve come far

Vivic-at-5

I’m one of those people who hate being photographed but I’ve decided to share my thoughts on this snapshot (apt for someone who has the look about her of a war victim about to be shot) taken when I was at nursery school either in Israel (then I would have been 4/5) or South Africa (I’d have been 5/6).

Let’s ignore for a second the part that instantly unnerves me – the body language – and look at the clothes.

I could swear I can still feel in my mind’s fingers the texture of those rough denim pants and the sensation of the clogged seams as I put my hands into the hammock-style pockets. The straight necked top and pilled jersey, hairy with static, fit badly, the jersey an afterthought of a mother or granny who were feeling chilly when they dressed me that morning? There has also been some attempt with my hair, that soft wispy stuff from which hair clips fall within minutes of being placed.

The boy in the distance playing with some equipment is dressed in clothes not too dissimilar to mine but then he is a boy. Compare my dress to that of the girl standing behind me cropped in half by the left photo edge. She in fact is wearing a dress, and a nice summery one, too. The glimpse we get of its style and the matching white socks and shoes set a benchmark of how little girls of that time should be dressed. It’s not, incidentally, too different from the way a girly girl might dress today.

It is because of this little girl that I veer towards placing  the photograph in South Africa soon after we immigrated. The differences between the ensembles of the ragged refugee and the Laura Ashley cut-out are just too pointed. And it makes sense: I was sent to nursery school for a couple of months before the beginning of primary school. I began my formal education in Grade 1 at Observatory Girl’s Primary School in Johannesburg but then we moved to Durban and then Margate. I was moved three times in that first year of school but that is another story.

And now to the nub of this post (It has taken me some time warming up to face this painful moment):

Compare the glimpse we get in the photograph of the stance of the girl in the dress to mine. She is rooted, openly curious. Meanwhile, I present myself to the photographer in my odd garb with trepidation, with anxiety, caught between wanting to retreat and wanting to be seen.  I clutch myself in the middle, my hands locked into a ball and claw buckle over my stomach. My face is harder to read. It is both open and closed, hooded and vulnerable. It is the overriding feeling of what I remember in my childhood: being socked in the stomach, being overwhelmed, close or in tears. I angle my head slightly asking for…for what? The feeling is inchoate, lost and sad.

(I have suddenly remembered a hugely salient fact: If this photograph is in fact taken in those months before primary school in Johannesburg, this child (me) does not speak any English. She is rent, cut off from her surroundings, ostensibly alone.)

Look again at the photograph: although it is hardly visible, although you have to know about it before you can almost see it, I choose to recognise in this pathetic waif something tough and resilient.

I’ve come far.

Posted in Autobiography | Leave a comment

Don’t give me a dusty answer!

brewers

A new interest has burgeoned in our home and it’s all because of a water damaged flea market find: a thick, wavy-paged volume called BREWER’S DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE. Prospecting in the densely packed text whilst on the toilet has brought into our daily parlance some absolute nuggets:

A dusty answer is a brush off.

What’s for supper tonight?
We’re dining with the cross-legged knights. In other words, don’t expect any supper at all.
The origin of this phrase makes little sense: something to do with stone effigies of the Temple church. Yet, it trips off the tongue easily, especially in the mouth of a cross-armed woman when faced with the constant expectations of her family to see to the cooking.

At the tap, we drink from Diogenes cup, in other words from a cupped hand. Diogenes was, by the way, a Greek philosopher, who lived in a tub (!) and was revered for his simple mode of life. There’s a type of hermit crab from West India that they call Diogenes crab because the shell it crawls into is likened to the selfsame tub.

Here’s to little gentlemen in velvet coats! An unpopular king was undone when a mole hill caused his horse to stumble and the king to suffer a fatal fall. I can think of many situations where this toast is particularly apt but it would be cruel to list them.

How many times in your life has just the right answer come to you too late to give it? Stairway wit or in the original French, esprit d’escalier, is the perfect rejoinder which you failed to use in the salon and only came to you as you were leaving via the staircase.

There are two paths open to you if you are Australian – Sydney or the bush. To tell the truth, neither beckons.

Our house has become the castle of indolence in the land of drowsiness. Whether we have fallen into a torpor because of the heat (31 degrees forecast today) or our natural predisposition for sloth, it is hard to tell.

A Devil’s Mass is a showering of swear words so I won’t regale you with that. but I’ll just run off to have my Fitzroy cocktail (an Australian concoction which comprises of methylated spirits, ginger beer and one teaspoon of boot polish).

Finally, I’m thinking of having a new category for my posts: Lares and Penates but who could possibly know that these are treasured household items? Only some toga-wearing Romans. These are the names of the two Roman gods, one of households and the other storerooms, whose enshrined images were supplicated with offerings of wine, incense and honey in order to protect the owners possessions, on the lines of ADT and Chubb.The meaning changed over time to mean the items themselves or simply ‘home’. I think ‘Lares and Penates’ would make a great name for a household items shop but, having never taken Latin at school, I’m not sure how to pronounce it.

I’m going to post this now because by the street of by and by one arrives at the house of never(Spanish origin – things postponed never get done).  

Posted in Flea market finds | Leave a comment

Guest Spot 3 : Andre Slabbert

andre1

Am I going to get royalties for this?  What must I do? Is this like free-association? Is this where I reveal my deep seated fantasies about you? That photo makes me look a little feminine with those dainty crossed ankles. We are struggling to get going here. I think this is where I am going to be absolutely exposed and prove to the world that there is absolutely nothing between my ears. I always knew it was going to come to this one day. However, seeing that I am going to become world famous as a result of being on this blog spot, I imagine I’d better come up with something.This could be for posterity. If you think the Mandela funeral is going to be big, this is going to be much bigger.

I am a very fortunate person. I’m fortunate because I’m reasonably healthy, I’ve got enough to see to my daily needs, I’ve got a job and a family who seems to be OK. I think most people mostly like me. I don’t have any enemies. I don’t hate lots of things which is good because hate is a destructive emotion.I think in all my life I’ve only hated one person and I sorted him out good. I’m on a roll. I always tell my students that the hallmark of a successful life is to leave the world a better place than when you arrived, so although I have never been nominated for any Nobel prize or discovered a cure for Aids, I think the world will miss me a bit someday. I hope I am right about this…the acid test of this will be the number of people that will attend my funeral. This worries me a bit at times but fortunately I won’t be there to see it. Can you imagine if only 6 people pitch up? I just love being in Cape Town which I will not change for the world. So, in closing my advice to you is: enjoy life. I had a date one night with a very hot chick a long time ago and when I took her home I had visions of a hot steamy session. At her front door she initiated proceedings by kissing me passionately and then she said to me, “Enjoy life,” and she closed the door and was gone forever.

Posted in Guest Spots, People | Leave a comment

Guest Spot 2 : Sakwe Balintulo

Sakwe

Some might say that keeping up a blog is self-indulgent and they have a point. I have decided that I would like to share the spotlight with people who come into my life, either regularly like Gerald Prinsloo (whom I interviewed earlier) or passers by who pop in for a short while. I ask permission of my ‘victims’ to put them on my blog and if they are willing, I write down what they tell me more or less verbatim.

Sakwe Balintulo ( Born 1927) came to our gate to collect money for his church.

The man up there is like the head waiter because he finds a place for everybody where ever they are: Zambia, South Africa, Botswana and shows them their place in the world.  He brings the rains like even tonight we might get rain. I was in Transkei on 28 November, came back last week. There was raining, thundering, wind blow like anything. I saw the magistrate’s court and police station roof blow away 25 metres away. I was just passing there when I was buying groceries. When we go to Transkei we go by buses, we pay five hundred there and five hundred back. Someone is looking after my place there in the village Tyaaka in the Idutaa area, between Butterworth and Umtata. But I live here in Cape Town in KTC with my wife and four children. Two of my children are in the house with me, not working, can’t find job. Jobs is very,very scarce for everybody.When I am not collecting I do a garden job because our pension is very little, just one thousand and eight rand, that’s all. The time is almost quarter to seven, I must go home now. I will come back end of February to see how you put me on the computer. God bless you.

Posted in Guest Spots | Leave a comment

Creamy ware on platterdays

creamy4n the odd occasion when I have guests over for supper, out come the platters and the good plates and I am reminded just how much I like the lightly adorned, creamy crockery we have been collecting for many a year. Not that rare or particularly valuable but their buttery wholesomeness fills me with a quiet satisfaction.

 creamy7  image image

image   image image 

 image  image   image

  image image

Posted in Flea market finds, My home | Leave a comment

No comment

zok-at-munus

Posted in inversion | Leave a comment

Cupping a town in your hand

camera-obscura

 

The camera obscura in Grahamstown, a jewel, my not-so-secret passion.

Posted in Art commentary, Travel | Leave a comment

The Sea Bean

When my son, Ben, picked up this sea bean on the beach at Arniston which is at the very tip of Africa, I knew as I stroked its intriguing smooth exterior, a perfect fit for the the palm of a human hand, that  I would have to find out more about it.

It’s been a hard nut to crack ( excuse the feeble crack)  but finally I can report that Ben’s sea bean is the drift seed of the Entada rheedii, a tropical climber that grows on river banks in Northern KwaZulu Natal and Mozambique. The pods can be longer than a metre and sometimes the beans wash up inside parts of the pod.  The leaves of the plant are traditionally smoked to encourage vivid dreams, hence it is called the African dream herb.

All the vivid dreaming one could do hardly measure up with a sea trip of three thousand miles! I’ve tried my hand at a rhyming poem based on what I imagine it might have experienced en route.  

 

seabean

 

The Sea Bean’s Story

 

On a beach at the bottom tip of Africa, where a rough sea swells

Amongst fans, screws and mussel ears – a common spread of shells

A big brown seed case lies half buried in the sand.

What it is doing there, it’s hard to understand

There is not a plant or tree in sight

that could produce a bean as big and bright.

(only vygies creeping on the dunes all around

they do not care a sour fig about our find).

I pick up the sea bean and ask it where it comes from, coax it to speak

And even though it has no lips or mouth, I hear a faint exotic word, “ Mozambique!”

“In that faraway land on the banks of a fast river, my mother tree grows

And from her trails a myriad long pods in which her babies sleep in tidy rows

It is in this place with my brothers and sisters on either side of me

That a grew from a dot to this large brown bean that you see

Like every mother ours hung on tight, did not let her family go

But there came a big rain that hammered her and oh! Oh! Oh!

We felt the ties that held us to our mother grow tauter and tauter

and then they broke, and we were thrown into the water

Frightened and quaking in our beds, on our roof a drumming rain,

we heard our mother call to us one last time , her voice hiding her pain

‘Bye- bye my darling beans, live happy beaningful lives and be good’

And we were gone from her, crying out that we would, we would.

In our long pod canoe we hurtled along the angry swollen river

We shook in fear knowing our craft was just a thin wooden sliver

And sure enough as river emptied into sea, so hard did we roll and pitch

the entire pod snapped in half and our canoe we had to ditch.

Surprise, surprise, our mother had thought of everything and saw to it that we could float

And provided us with an inboard bubble of air and a tough waterproof coat

So we bobbed along together chatting on the moving surface of the sea

And for the first time the wide world of sky and water opened up for us to see.

But not for long, because soon we drifted in different directions

Each alone to make our own connections

It was awfully lonely to be forced apart

I found myself suffering from a heavy heart

But then I noticed other fellow travellers, curious creatures

Many with the most outlandish features.

Under the water were fish with noses and sharks with smiles,

Millions of eyes winking from reefs stretching for miles

Crabs with crusty limbs

and dolphins who entertained with acrobatic swims,

Great big helmet-wearing turtles paddled by

and schools of silver fish that seemed to fly

Bumping into other sea drift lifted the spirit

A coconut on its way to an island there to seed itself in it.

A holey bit of pumice from a distant volcano spewed

Its bubbly, playful nature lightened the mood

Ships sailed past carrying fishermen and sailors

But mostly it was huge vessels laden with containers

And just as things seemed as if they could not get more entrancing,

A tuna jumped out from the depths and swallowed me whole in passing.

I proved to be indigestible in this grumbling, tumbling location

And gave the tuna a terrible case of constipation.

Days later, after great exertions, I was expelled

From the grim, smelly place where I was held.

We parted company , a mutual agreement to take a hike

What a relief for fish and bean alike.

Time passed slowly, day following night

as I drifted south, the coast of Africa on my right

Borne along on a soothing warm current on which I could rest

I rounded the continent and headed out west

Happy to continue forever on my travels on the sea

A finger of land protruding from Africa caught me

And rolled me through kelp forests and jagged rocks

My tough skin oblivious to the knocks,

And safely beached me here in this foreign place

Where a sea purse, in fact it’s a shark’s egg case,

though its stringy parts are peculiar and reek

reminded me of my missing family in Mozambique.

Perhaps my brothers and sisters have found better soils

After their adventurous sea-faring toils

For we cannot settle where there is no rich soft mud

Put our roots down, grow up towards the sky and bud.

I am not sure if this is a beaningful life, lying here on the sand

I think I prefer something a bit more grand.”

That was the end of the sea bean’s tale, I fear

No more did it say even when I held its lovely smooth shape to my ear

I washed it till the salty crust on its skin was gone

And polished and polished it till it shone

I thought up of words that rhymed with bean

Such as scene and green and mean and queen

and kept it on my writing table

Until in 2004 when I was able

On a trip of 2 thousand miles long

Crossing borders, right and wrong

To plant it on a river bank , up a creek

In its home, in Mozambique.

Posted in Children's books, the natural world, Travel | Leave a comment

Fried eggs in the garden

fried-egg-flower

Anybody for breakfast? How about two fried eggs, sunny side up?

A favourite in my garden is Romneya Coulteri, the fried egg flower. I love its cut grey-green leaves, the way it zooms up from ground level in one season and how at, and over, head height, the buds erupt into big, fragrant, white blossoms. A boss of yellow stamens adds a yolk to the centre of each egg and attracts visitors in the form of bees and beetles and other goggas who burrow and roll around in the pollen.

It’s not easy to find or transplant a Romneya. I must have tried at least six times with stringy , unpromising bits of ‘rooty’ tuber which I dug out from ridiculously deep holes underneath the plant in winter. Finally, one took and the plant has been a prized resident ever since. In fact, once you’ve got it, it’s for life. Our Cape Flats sandy soil suits the Romneya it to a tee as it originally hails from the Californian coast and Mexico. New stems pop up all over the place, ensuring that breakfast will be served in the early summer for as long as this gardener gives it license to do what it wants.

In the background of the photograph is an egg-yellow Poor Man’s orchid, as perfect an accompaniment to a duo of fried eggs as toast, butter, salt and pepper. 

Posted in the natural world | Leave a comment

Chameleons back

chameleon-1

When we moved into our home 28 years ago, the garden was full of these fellows, always a welcome find and especially fascinating for our children who would coax them onto a stick and watch them make their way gingerly up the length, their reaching hands opening and closing in neat mitts, the tips of their tails finding purchase in elegant curls. Like a tiny package of surprises, every part of  a chameleon is worthy of  comment, from their spectacularly vivid colour and dragon ridges and old men heads with slit eyes roving independently in heavy lidded orbs to the skinny little ribs that pump through the flanks. And oh! when they flash open their mouth – the inside is draped like a membranous orange sail over a ridge pole. And then a dart out of that did-you-see-it-or-not? tongue. Any insects caught?

The combinations are entrancing: tough and delicate,  prehistoric and newly minted (the bright green livery encasing the small bodies), scary and cute.

Then after a decade, they disappeared. One day we woke up to the fact that we had not come across a chameleon for over a year or more. We actively searched for them in our garden and hedge to no avail. We pondered if it was our pets, in particular our cat, who had hunted them out. No evidence of that, though. Perhaps it was the changes in our neighbourhood…Was this environmental melt down?

To our disgust, all around us in the streets of the American presidents, hedges of Tecomaria Capensis were being replaced with vibracrete fences at a rate of dizzy knots. Except ours of course. We would hold on forever to our 12 foot high ‘green mamba’ despite maintenance and watering costs. We plotted a campaign: putting up signs on street corners not THIS WAY TO THE SHOW HOUSE but BE HEDGE AWARE, we envisioned conferring on householders with the best of the remaining hedges a special prize, a little ceramic hedgehog. Still no chameleons on our hedge. You would think that if it was the fault of vibracrete, all the neighbourhood chameleons would have flocked to our green corner, a kind of suburban reptilian great march.

In the late 90s, thankfully vibracrete went out of fashion and it was the beginning of of the iron palings decade (although our area still has a fair number of wobbly, mouldy, grey specimens in couldn’t-be-bothered or can’t-afford homes). Now, a walk through the streets is rather like going to the zoo but instead of wild animals we have caged BMWs and Polos on display. Also, plants have made a bit of a come-back as a second skin behind the iron palings.

And sure enough, the chameleons are back. This morning when I was watering, I saw this bright fellow. (Note the water droplets caught in the line of back ridges.) Maybe it has nothing to do with hedges or plants or even cats too old and lazy to hunt and the reason for their return is due to factors I shall never uncover, but I am very glad that I do see the odd chameleons in my garden now. They are always very welcome.

Posted in the natural world | Leave a comment